Are you a boobies or asses fan?

I’ve once seen a documentary on BBC  about human sexuality and its history. One of the thesis presented there went as: women developed breasts that stay full and supple even if they are not actually lactating and nursing as a result of human starting to walk on two legs instead of four. You see, when the only way of movement available to our ancestors was crawling, the only mating position possible was doggy style. You like it, don’t you? It allows you to view those nice round globes on the ass of your partner, you can spank them (mrrrr), knead them (meoooww). I bet our forefathers also enjoyed it and watching the butts of their mates was a real turn on.

But then the situation changed, humans started to walk on two legs, so automatically more mating positions started to be available. But if you do a missionary style or another position when a woman is on the top you don’t get this nice view of ass cheeks that was such a stimulation in a doggy style. So what did our Mother Nature do in these circumstances? It simply ‘allowed’ women to grow breasts and to keep them round even if other mammals’ breasts become smaller when they don’t actually nurse. Thus breasts became toys for men instead of just staying a feeding tool. They do indeed may look like a smaller version of an ass. Especially if you squeeze them together to produce some cleavage…

Having said that, what is your preference, gents? What do you enjoy more, looking at boobs or at asses?

Boobs, boob myths, bras and idiots

Do you like these boobies, guys? Would you like to put your hands on them? Would you like to them to stay so round and shapely as long as possible?

Well, there’s somebody who is trying to sabotage our boobs. An incompetent idiot, named Jean-Denis Rouillon has just come up with results of his ‘research’ claiming that “bras (these perfect baskets for our apple girls, if well fitted) ‘are not needed’, and might actually be doing women’s figures more harm than good.” More revelations from him include: “a bra could ‘prevent supporting tissues from growing’, and that breasts might be less likely to sag without one.”

Well, well, well… Let’s look here then:

This pair of boobs has never worn a bra, yet they are sagging. Why? How can it be explained through this professor’s findings? Professor Rouillon, a sports scientist (so in theory a person, who should know that  there are no muscles in breasts, just ligaments that do stretch) from the University of Franche-Comte in  eastern France, spent 15 years studying 130 women with different bust sizes. Well, cher Monsier Profeseur, perhaps you should start to study for another 15 years but this time choose a better representative sample. The French women don’t wear well fitted bras, despite what French lingerie industry may claim, they don’t carry enough sizes. Go to do your research among women that wear correct supportive bra sizes and only after that you can talk about bra influence of boobs, muscles, silhuette and back pain or lack of it.

This note is being written while I’m wearing a 32GG (British sizing) bra and enjoying the cleavage I have. Such a tantalizing view – these nice globes resting comfortably in a well fitted bra, just like apples in a basket. I’d almost like to play with them myself if I wasn’t so irritated at this idiot. In France I’d be told to wear a 95E and not to complain if it feels uncomfortable… The 95E would only serve a “covering nipples” function, which may as well be done by the device on the pic below. Boob pasties do nothing to support, just like a French 95E would do in my case.

However, guys, if you want your woman to have nice boobs for a longer while, don’t believe this research and get her to a good bra fitting shop, by a good one I mean a shop that carries at least 80 different sizes.

Secrets of erotica: our heroines vs typical porn stars

There’s been a study recently, the study conducted by Jon Millward and published on his website. He chose to examine the profiles of thousands of porn stars on the Internet Adult Film Database and the result may be quite surprising. You probably expect that an average star of adult movies is a blonde with large tits – a woman that a stereotypical male sexual fantasy may picture in such a context. Wrong. A typical girl from blue movies has brown hair and a B-cup (though this would be probably much different if all those girls knew their correct bra size).  Apart from that she’s a 5-foot-5, 117 pound Caucasian woman.

How do these findings relate to our erotic book heroines? Are Yasmin, Eleyne, Melisa and Babette taller or shorter than the average porn star? What about their boobs and weight? As well as hair… Do our rockers get a good deal by meeting them? Would you get sexually inspired if you met them?

Meet our female protagonists then.

Yasmin, the mind of the international  paranormal ‘research team’ is a small 5-foot-5, green eyed, brown haired Argentinean girl. She has a slim but curvy, hourglass figure and 32FF boobs, childlike face and a really dirty mind capable of conceiving the hottest erotic ideas and fantasies. Thanks to her feminine charms and wiles she seduces the rocker that seems unreachable for any woman, perhaps she’s also a witch granted with the special graces of the goddess Hekate…

Eleyne, a Polish girl who lives in Italy, the other main narrator of Hekate’s Passage, is 5 inches taller than Yasmin but her eyes are the same color. She’s actually the tallest of all the girls  and has the fairest hair, of honey color. She also can’t complain about her womanly attributes wearing a bra size 32GG or 34G and sporting a nice round butt and narrow waist. Her sexual appetite and hot attitude captivate her crush very effectively sending him to the moon and back.

Melisa, the youngest in the ‘team’ is a petite American brunette with brown eyes. Visual approximation makes us believe she should wear a whereabouts of a 30FF-G, unfortunately for her the U.S. is not really famous for its bra-fitting services. In the novel she wears nipple covers (as that piece of garment can’t be called a bra) from one of the very popular American brands in a 32D. She also seems to be the most prude of the girls, she’s capable of crossing sexual inhibitions but only with her crush.

Babette is a 5-foot 4 naughty French girl who defies stereotypes that usually refer to women from this nation. You know what I mean, guys. French girls are said to be small boobed… Luckily for our rockers, Babette has an Italian lineage, which makes her boobs a tantalizing 32F. If you add hair long chestnut hair and blue eyes to the deal, you won’t resist her. And obviously, as all the the other girls, she’s a curvy one, with a figure resembling a shapely hourglass.

You could still ask how old they are…  But it doesn’t mean you will get an answer. Haven’t they taught you that you don’t make questions about a woman’s age?

What do you think, guys? Does it sound good to you? Would our heroines inspire your sexual dreams and fantasies?  Would you screw them stupid and enhance your erotic life just like the rockers do?