Do you know everything about your penis?

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Penis, dick, cock, willy, twig (&berries), ding dong, beef hammer, sausage, meat sword, man’s best (or worst friend). This organ has multiple names from neutral through funny to vulgar ones. This list of synonyms to refer to your manhood is really extensive. Over 150 terms to refer to this natural hydraulic pump. Perhaps this multitude is the reflection of its importance in a man’s life.  Its length, girth, shape and capability to rise up means a lot to every man. Am I right? You may glance at other men’s organs while showering in a gym after a workout to compare your equipment with yours, but do you know everything about penis as such?
For example, in reality most penises are equal when they are in their shrunk, dangling state, so ogling other men who are showering and are not having erotic thoughts that would make their dicks rise up won’t tell you anything about their erected length. Statistics say that adult penises measure between 3 to 4 inches when flaccid,  apart from that there is no correlation between penis size and shoe size, hand size or nose size. Moreover, there’s no correlation between penis size/shape and wallet size.
Well, unless we look at cars … Well, perhaps this old joke about compensation is true…
Don’t blame your parents for the genetic load you got, cause it doesn’t determine how big your dick can get either. Penises are actually formed in uterus when those wild and crazy male hormones kick-in. There’s no one to point the finger (or any other appendage) at but Mother Nature.

So is there anything that can actually influence a dick size outside of these hormones in uterus? Well, there is one factor. It’s the low temperature. Your testicles hate cold water and cold weather, they need to stay relatively warm to produce sperm and testosterone which as you know is your sex drive hormone. So after a dip in a really cold water you may find your nuts and dick really reduced to the size of peanuts and acorn. For sure then you wouldn’t need this extra large condom… Which according to condom manufactures are bought only by 6% of the costumers. Does it mean the other 94% lie?
Certainly, those less generously endowed in these lower regions can get some consolation with the fact that in comparison with other species their dicks are still quite large. Chimps only have half the size of an average male human. Just don’t compare your equipment with this of the horse, the bull or the blue whale, whose penis is 11 feet long.

Well, apart from the above is there anything that can affect a man’s performance in bed?
For sure you know some of the culprits that make any decent hard on impossible. If you pour 4 pints of beer into your stomach, your dick will be FPO (for peeing only).
The same refers to other types of alcohol, too much of it is bad for the erection. You can have two, perhaps 3 glasses of wine (how good, for us, women, that alcohol doesn’t impede our nether regions, we can still fuck even after a bigger amount) but if you down a bottle, you’d better get a strap on otherwise your partner will have the right to sulk. The other common erection killers are drugs. Have you ever got a decent fuck from a drug addict, ladies? Though, here I might add that I’ve heard some (unconfirmed) gossip that cocaine can actually get you going for a long time. It’s supposed to prevent you from coming.
Some regular, doctor prescribed medications can also make you stay flaccid. The same applies to some medical conditions. If you have problems getting a hard on, you should get your ticker checked. ED can be one of the first signs of heart disease. Other chronic diseases like diabetes and hypertension (high blood pressure) have also been linked to the same symptom.
One more reason for worse performance in bed and for generally lower libido level are cigarettes. Smoking isn’t just bad for your lungs and looks. It affects the production of sperm and testosterone (which is responsible for your sex drive). Men who smoke may need less sex, cause smoking simply lowers their sex drive, they have sperm of worse quality (which counts, if you want to have kids) and I don’t even mention that it influences the taste of the cum. Smokers sperm tastes disgusting and even consuming sweet fruit like pineapple doesn’t help. Guys, if you want her to swallow, stop smoking.

Things you might not have known about penis anatomy

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What is the purpose of a penis? Biologically. I’m not talking about sex now.

Well, basically, its function is to deliver the sperm as close as possible to an oocyte, to produce another life and if it malfunctions the owner is simply kicked out of the gene pool. Well, quite some of you guys, probably don’t care too much of becoming fathers, at least not too fast and only after fucking as many chicks as possible but most other species don’t have as much fun and pleasure from sex as we, humans, do.  Though I believe that researches also study this… In a few years we may find out that much more animals actually enjoy mating as much as we do.

Anyway, mammals’ penises vary in size, shape and structure. Some of them have bones inside, you know… Men don’t have bones there, though. Sometimes we could feel sorry that it’s not the case, but the point is, that you guys have there the best hydraulic pump in the world and you just have to keep it in shape. In its erected shape when needed. To keep us, women, happy.

Here some more interesting things about penis anatomy that I found on Ted.com

Does size of a man’s penis matter?

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Men have always been pre-occupied with the size of their male equipment. Does the size of a man’s penis matter for you, ladies? Or do you rather attach value to some other things such as bed skills of its owner, for example? After all our G points are not that deep in our vaginas, even relatively short dicks should be able to reach them and stimulate them successfully if the owner of the dick in question knows what to do and how to do it. There might be also this little fact that some of us, women, may prefer the whereabouts of the maleness cleanly shaven as we are not especially partial to having hair between our teeth when we do a blow job… And of course, as they say, a tree looks higher if there are no bushes underneath, Well, it looks like we’re back to the matters of size again.

Just to illustrate the matter, a chart that I found once while browsing through some naughty pages:

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What do you think?

TOP TEN THINGS WOMEN WOULD DO IF…

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TOP TEN THINGS WOMEN WOULD DO IF THEY WOKE UP AND HAD A PENIS FOR A DAY… From Damn My Halo Broke Again

10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.

9. Get a blow job.

8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.

7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.

6. Determine WHY you can’t hit the bowl consistently.

5. Find out what it’s like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.

4. Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.

3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.

2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between  man’s eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.

1. Repeat number 9……