Be careful of what you ask for.
In your sexual fantasy, or in an erotic book like ours, your partner won’t sneeze without YOUR permission, so it’s actually YOU that is in control. It’s him that is there to please you as you’re obviously tied up and not fully able to to anything… Sounds nice… Doesn’t it? In such a sensual fantasy of yours, he is your sex slave, even if it seems the opposite, doing what you want. But stop, this is not a kinky fantasy, it’s reality.
He’s tied you up, he has a whip or crop in his hand and you may end up in bruises or worse if you don’t set up any precautions before your sexual encounter. Have you by any chance read Kushiel’s Dart by Jacqueline Carey? Phedre no Delauney is a young woman who was born with a scarlet mote in her left eye, nobody knows what it is unless a nobleman who purchases her recognizes who and what Phedre is and what the mote marks her for. She’s chosen to forever experience pleasure and pain as one… But even she, an anguisette, for whom pain signifies heavenly ecstasy, has to take precautions to prevent her patrons from going too far. Make sure to arrange a signale with with your sexual partner that will tell him he has got carried away. A special code word that will tell him to stop whatever that you no longer find pleasurable.
BDSM is for two (or more) people as long as everybody involved finds it pleasurable.